haiz.. this morning let my dad's 'knocking-on-the-door' awaken me.. AGAIN.. dang.. always also like that.. his main point is to wake my bro up for work.. but then terkacau me pula.. oh c'mon.. it's only 9.30am n he is waking me up.. it's holiday.. can he just let me sleep a lil while more?? grrr...
well, today.. went out around 1 smtg.. went to have our lunch in kota damansara.. then followed my dad around to the banks.. after that we went to carrefour.. as it is raining.. n it is not time yet.. 'time for my piano class'.. so, walked around for awhile.. then around 3.30pm, we left for shah alam.. afraid there will be a traffic jam cuz of the rain.. but there aren't any.. so, reach there about 4pm then waited till 4.30pm for my piano class...
while i was in the piano class.. there is things popped into my mind.. well, i was trying to quit piano lesson months ago.. told my parents about it.. but then they wouldn't let.. but actually.. the problem is not that i don't like to play piano.. n also not that i don't like music.. is just that.. when the next semester come again.. i will be very busy with my assignments and homeworks and revisions.. i have not enough time for so many things.. and practicing piano?? i don't think i have so much time for that.. well, now is my holiday.. okay.. i have time now to practice.. but after two weeks.. everything will be back to normal.. (busy life).. they always nag me cuz i didn't practice.. and so and so.. say that i'm wasting their money paying for the fees.. but when i tell them i wanna quit.. they say i've wasted their money paying for the fees till now.. what do they want from me????
well, when classes started.. is not that 24hours i have things to do.. but the time is tight.. really tight.. n when i have time.. of course.. i mean.. 'normal human being'.. would want to rest.. and nobody's 100% hardworking.. at times.. people get lazy.. that's life.. okay.. okay.. maybe there is people who is that hardworking.. but that's not me.. how can they want me to be somebody else..? that's just not fair.. they might be saying that if i work a lil bit harder.. the grade 8 exam will be done in a glimpse.. yaya.. FOR THEM... cuz they are not the one learning.. then they will start grumbling.. like 'everything u learn.. is always half way thru'..
im going to say smtg.. many years back when i first told my dad.. 'daddy, i want to learn piano'.. that's really what i wanted.. i REALLY wanted to learn.. wanted to be able to play all the songs that i love.. enjoying music that i played MYSELF.. that's what i want.. to enjoy music..
but now.. everything is not the same.. ya.. i still love music.. but then.. i will be thinking.. 'daddy, i don't wan to learn piano anymore'.. that's not what i think all the time.. i want to learn piano.. so that when i'm free, i can play some music to calm myself down.. not for competition.. not for performance.. not for anyone.. it's for ME.. ME!! but now.. i'm like.. playing just for the sake of satisfying my parents.. but i can't take it anymore.. it's killing me.. im not trying to say that they are torturing me or anything.. i'm already in my grade 8.. it's just the exam.. that exam certificate is nothing to me.. i can already play the songs that i like anytime i want when i got the piano score.. the certificate is just a paper to me.. c'mon..
everytime i try to tell them.. they will say that i've changed.. trying to talk back.. NO.. i'm not.. i'm just trying to tell them what i really want.. is that too much?
i dunno what to do already.. i just want to quit going for piano class.. but i still wanna play piano.. just play.. not going for classes anymore.. college's exams is already a big headache to me.. piano exams some more? i can't take it no more.. i'm so sorry, dad and mom..
plz leave me comments..
well, today.. went out around 1 smtg.. went to have our lunch in kota damansara.. then followed my dad around to the banks.. after that we went to carrefour.. as it is raining.. n it is not time yet.. 'time for my piano class'.. so, walked around for awhile.. then around 3.30pm, we left for shah alam.. afraid there will be a traffic jam cuz of the rain.. but there aren't any.. so, reach there about 4pm then waited till 4.30pm for my piano class...
while i was in the piano class.. there is things popped into my mind.. well, i was trying to quit piano lesson months ago.. told my parents about it.. but then they wouldn't let.. but actually.. the problem is not that i don't like to play piano.. n also not that i don't like music.. is just that.. when the next semester come again.. i will be very busy with my assignments and homeworks and revisions.. i have not enough time for so many things.. and practicing piano?? i don't think i have so much time for that.. well, now is my holiday.. okay.. i have time now to practice.. but after two weeks.. everything will be back to normal.. (busy life).. they always nag me cuz i didn't practice.. and so and so.. say that i'm wasting their money paying for the fees.. but when i tell them i wanna quit.. they say i've wasted their money paying for the fees till now.. what do they want from me????
well, when classes started.. is not that 24hours i have things to do.. but the time is tight.. really tight.. n when i have time.. of course.. i mean.. 'normal human being'.. would want to rest.. and nobody's 100% hardworking.. at times.. people get lazy.. that's life.. okay.. okay.. maybe there is people who is that hardworking.. but that's not me.. how can they want me to be somebody else..? that's just not fair.. they might be saying that if i work a lil bit harder.. the grade 8 exam will be done in a glimpse.. yaya.. FOR THEM... cuz they are not the one learning.. then they will start grumbling.. like 'everything u learn.. is always half way thru'..
im going to say smtg.. many years back when i first told my dad.. 'daddy, i want to learn piano'.. that's really what i wanted.. i REALLY wanted to learn.. wanted to be able to play all the songs that i love.. enjoying music that i played MYSELF.. that's what i want.. to enjoy music..
but now.. everything is not the same.. ya.. i still love music.. but then.. i will be thinking.. 'daddy, i don't wan to learn piano anymore'.. that's not what i think all the time.. i want to learn piano.. so that when i'm free, i can play some music to calm myself down.. not for competition.. not for performance.. not for anyone.. it's for ME.. ME!! but now.. i'm like.. playing just for the sake of satisfying my parents.. but i can't take it anymore.. it's killing me.. im not trying to say that they are torturing me or anything.. i'm already in my grade 8.. it's just the exam.. that exam certificate is nothing to me.. i can already play the songs that i like anytime i want when i got the piano score.. the certificate is just a paper to me.. c'mon..
everytime i try to tell them.. they will say that i've changed.. trying to talk back.. NO.. i'm not.. i'm just trying to tell them what i really want.. is that too much?
i dunno what to do already.. i just want to quit going for piano class.. but i still wanna play piano.. just play.. not going for classes anymore.. college's exams is already a big headache to me.. piano exams some more? i can't take it no more.. i'm so sorry, dad and mom..
plz leave me comments..
8 comments:
Well, i understand your situation. Parents are like that but they just don't want you to regret when you are older. If you really want to stop then just go and really convine them. They'll understand if they are convine that it's a choice that you won't regret(i'm sure of it). If it's just about exams, then maybe you can just take classes and don;t go for exams. My sis is doing that. And just go remind you, next semester won't have assignment and it's only 2 subject. Just think propely. Maybe you want to continue untill the next semester finishes.
Well I think your parents should know that you're old enough to make your own decision.
By the way, since I stopped piano lessons, I sort of lost touch already. I still play from time to time but there's no improvement in skills, not many new songs and it's slowly getting boring ... haha that's my case la. But true I don't like exams. They actually restrict your creativity, like you keep playing the same 3 songs for months just for it. Quite no point.
Well for every decision you make there's sure pros and cons
Whatever that is, just think wisely before you do ... and don't regret, try to convince your parents! =)
yes.. n the situation here is not about interest.. i still have the interest in learning.. is just that i 心有余而力不足.. my little finger gets stiff whenever i try to play fast songs.. n grade 8 is majority fast songs.. so, how am i going to pass if i can't even play fast songs? rite?
yea true what your friends said.
better continue,just think of it as a way to make them feel happy.even if you fail the grade 8 test,knowing that you try would make them feel content rite?
ahh....reminds me of my nearly forgotten piano classes....i remember my mum force me to go to piano classes...and i never really liked playing any music instruments....i had this hot chick as a teacher...there's this one particular day....i think she had PMS or had a fight with her bf or something....she took the anger out on me so hard that day i just threw everything and ran out of the fuckin class and ran home and told my mum...Im through with this...and i told my mum all about it...i also dsaid forcing me to learn thing ain't gonna make me any better...that was when she finally comes to her senses to stop forcing me to do things i dun like...
see parents are like this....they always want to think they are right...so normally what i would suggest is....make a point where they realize they are not always right and they can't order u around like they use to when u were kids...u've grown up now...anyways...im in class right now...ahaha...break time over....good luck
haha.. well, yea..
fail = get scolding + embarrass myself
don't take exam = get scolding also.. jeezzzz..
my parents hard to convince also.. im not to say scared of them.. i just respect them lar.. cuz learning piano is wad i always wanted mah.. but then.. now just.. i just dun wanna go for exam lar.. that's it.. it's easy man..
i would say that is up to u la....wat u r doing is your life and not your parents ma....so think of wat u wanna do not wat ur parents want u to do...dats all..hahaha...hope this helps...
haha.. thx a bunch.. i think i noe what to do.. but if they still want me to take the exam.. at least i've tried to tell them.. so, dun blame me when i failed.. :)
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